Ok I have 10,000 things I want to write about but don’t know how to start or end them (like any good tortured writer) so I’m just going to jot down what I’ve got, simply to share what I learn each week with you. I have these little nuggets of info that I absorb throughout the week, reading magazines, websites, newspapers, and I hate having all these fun facts about the world and not sharing them with people. Whether they are intellectual, gossipy, meaningful, helpful, or just something to make you laugh, I go crazy if I can’t tell you about it. So instead of trying to piece together an essay of nonsensical catch phrases (like that one) I’m just gunna list. So now I give you: Lessons learned this week, during the first snow fall of the year……

1. Uggs have no traction. Regardless of the style status of the boots, I still believe in the functionality of them. But mine have been wore so many times in the last 6 winters that I might as well have just wrapped my feet in saran wrap and lather some butter on them before stepping out into the Chicago ice storm.

2. CTA buses have no traction.

3. Because my same roommates that couldn’t afford the internet also couldn’t afford cable TV, I didn’t think the writers strike would affect me at all. (Don’t think it hasn’t affected me emotionally, knowing that I have missed half a season of Top Model with Heather and having to watch the Office over a testy streaming video connection is blackening my soul.) But I was having a hard time swallowing the halting season finale of Weeds and have a hunch the Writers Guild of America may be to blame (huge SPOILER ALERT for the show’s ending). The season finale ends with Nancy’s Mexican Muscle torching the rival growers crop, subsequently developing into a wild fire, destroying the entire suburb. Nancy then decides to move her family across the country to start anew. Let me rephrase that for people that don’t know the show. The writers dropped every plot twist and character formation in the last 20 min of the finale. They got rid of the main story line by setting the city on fire. They made the main characters run away from any problems or relationships that were forming. Literally run away. To Pittsburg. There were lose ends all over the place. It seemed like a huge cop out. So as I struggled to dissect the meaning of it all, it dawned on me. The writers had to get something down on paper before they grabbed their sign and joined the picket line. For god sake, give the people what they want so more of my shows don’t commit network suicide like Weeds did!

4. The 22 Clark bus is more entertaining than an episode of True Life: I have Tourettes. The guy next to me, with his 21-year-old beard, fedora, and trench coat, was finger painting on the steamy window. Apparently my inner freak was dying to know what master piece this prodigy was creating that we were all fortunate enough to be in the presence of, because before I could process my motor skills, I asked this dude what he was drawing. A sheep shaking hands with a monk. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. After he got off, I continued to stare at the window, trying to decipher the thought process that went into this kids drawing, when I was pulled away by some loud dude ranting about drama drama drama. But as I listened (along with 90% of the bus) and he’s dropping terms like “She was afraid he was going to murder her personal footprint on the world” or “the bond they shared was insatiable, it was destroying them as they failed to quench each others needs.” and something about a Roman emperor that gained the thrown by tricking everyone around him to kill themselves and playing dumb to the power over the empire and that “Ben” uses that technique to gain their friendship and they can’t let him take over them. The real life Dawson Leery is standing behind me.

God I just reread my “list” and realize I cannot escape the adjectives that attack everything I write. so much for a quick and to the point list of fun facts…..


2 responses to “Footnotes

  1. Good good stuff. Wonderful.

  2. that I might as well have just wrapped my feet in saran wrap and lather some butter on them before stepping out into the Chicago ice storm.

    See? This is why I find Uggs useless, no offense. Hee. But the image of you walking on saran wrap slathered with butter is golden.

    I agree with you on the Writer’s Strike. It’s driving me absolutely bonkers. But at least the shows that you watch don’t have any worries about being canceled. Mine do. POOP.

    OH, by the way, I am completely and utterly addicted to America’s Next Top Model. I’ve been catching re-runs on VH1 and MTV. I blame you somehow. Don’t ask how again. But I do. I’ll figure out why. Play some six degrees of Jenny Waters and how she got Moey addicted to America’s Next Top Model or something. 😛

    Oh and there’s nothing wrong with adjectives attacking everything you write. Description is GOOD. It provides me with better imagery of what you’re saying. YAY!

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